Marriage, at the Front and Back of the Book Part 2

*See part one HERE*

     Marriage is about a bond. A self-strengthening and mutually self sacrificial system that leads to the ultimate betterment of both parties. Here we see the major flaw in most people's thinking about marriage: the point of your marriage is not that your spouse will fulfill all your desires or “needs.” We shouldn't even really be thinking of ourselves; the majority if not all of our thought should be on making the life of our spouse and our spouse themselves better. One of the biggest things a Christian will face when trying to live out a godly marriage is that we oppress women by saying they have to submit to their husbands. People never seem to read the part right after that, where men are called to love their lives like Christ.

“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.”

(Ephesians 5:22-27)

     Yes women are called to submit to a fallible human man, but we men are called to live like Jesus! Which do you think is harder? Which do you think is more likely? Christ loves His church to the point where He left the glory of heaven and allowed himself to be brutally tortured and murdered, just to save us. Just to make a way for people who hate Him to live. And I get it, I do, you hate the idea of obeying. You hate that men have the “top spot.” Remember though, that having a position of leadership in the Bible does not make that person better than those who are lead. A wife who obeys her husband will give her husband less cause to fly off and try and control her through force and a husband who truly loves his wife will not seek to have dominion over her. I have the final say in my home but what that really means is that whether we find success or failure the buck stops with me. That is the weight of responsibility.

     These are all arguments that can be made and explanations that can be repeated and rejected as the case may be but really there is only one true reason for the attack on marriage. The real reason for the attack is because of the real meaning for marriage. Marriage is more than just two people chasing after happiness. It is more than a couple fulfilled by their union. It is more than two individuals drawing strength from each other to make it through tomorrow. Marriage -is- all these things but ultimately it is a picture. Marriage is a picture of God and His church. The family is a metaphor for eternity. Look again at the passage from Genesis 2. We see the man leave his family and join to his wife, the two forming “one flesh.” Flip to the other side of the Bible and we see Jesus leaving His Father in heaven and that the church is the joined into the body of Christ with Jesus as it's head. One flesh. The roles laid out for men and women are not their to set us against each other or to set one up against the other or higher than the other. We are here to show the world what God has done for His people.

     Marriage will always be under attack because it is a picture of God and man. In this one thing, this one amazing thing, God has set up a continually running example of His love for us. That image cannot be allowed to survive in a world that hates and rejects Him. That image has to die if this world wants to forget Him and ignore Him. Sure, there are cultural trappings and society has done great damage to the simple beauty of marriage. Sure we have made a hash of it in general and the record is not good. But these things are superficial, nothing more than dirt on the surface that can be easily looked past and cleaned away. You wouldn't throw away a diamond because of the stone that encases it would you? Just the same marriage is a scuffed gem that any one of us can clean and polish, leaving something of great and enduring value.