A Letter to Myself in the Moment

Dear Me,

     I know that I'm not necessarily “with” you right now. I know that you may not be thinking clearly and I understand that what I'm telling you may not be obvious to you at the moment. I know that whether you are home alone or going about your day, that you are doing something seemingly normal and yet you are fighting. You are fighting an enemy that knows your every weakness, knows your deepest fears, an enemy that never tires, never loses focus, never doubts, an enemy that hates you more than you can comprehend and wants desperately for you to fail. Worse still you are also fighting yourself.

     I know that your judgment isn't currently at it's best and though you want to win this fight you grow more and more tired with every blow exchanged. I know that there is a voice trying to convince you that what you know to be wrong is anything but, or that it will be okay this one time. The voice tells you that you are weak, it reminds you of every time you have failed and every battle lost. It asks you why you should bother fighting. I know that in the midst of the battle it can all seem so impossible. The lure of the enemy seems so right and their voice so loud that you can barely hear me, can barely hear God. I know that your flesh is a traitor. Your own urges and desires are a turncoat working with your foe to pull you down. I know the outlook is bleak.

     I know all these things but I also know something that you may find difficult to remember as you struggle to lift your sword: the war is over. Th enemy screams and yells to distract you, to keep you from seeing that he has no sword and no shield; his fangs are long since broken and his oily tongue says nothing but lies.

     I implore you, me, for both our sakes, remember who has bought you! Remember that your chains are broken and your slave debt paid. Remember that Jesus has paid for your freedom in blood and that you never need to listen to your old masters again. Remember that the old man may writhe and struggle within you but he is already dead! Remember that you need not, indeed dare not, rely on your own strength. Remember that the spirit of God is there within you with all the power you need and more to win the day. Don't waste time fumbling with useless weapons or futilely raising your wooden shield, turn to your heavenly Father and scream for the help that only He can give! In Him and His strength will you find the victory, in Him alone is the battle won.

     Remember this please, for if you forget it during the fray you -will- fall and when next we meet it will not be in gratitude and praise to God but with with the knowledge that you had no reason for defeat and every assurance of victory. You know that I will remind you of these things. You are not alone. Though you may not hear me when the battle joins, remember these words, and live.