Strength for the Day

     I don't know about you but I'm caught between the idea that I should be using my time for something constructive and the unavoidable truth that I'm not using my time for anything particularly useful. I don't have a fantastic job, heck I don't even have a single full time job, so there's enormous pressure to change that. Then beyond the pure pragmatism of simply getting a “better” job there's the haunting shadow of the ideal. The ghost of that dream that may never exist in your future that still manages to haunt you here in the present. Mix all this together with the modern idea of “success,” a good dose of classic male ego, and all the struggles that go along with the life of a Christian man and it can be pretty crushing and just flat out exhausting.

     I struggle with this. I struggle with this a lot. I mean -a lot- a lot. Sometimes it feels like if I'm not spending every free moment I have to make myself better for my family, or to do something for God's Kingdom, or actually writing that book I talk about, or ...whatever, than I'm just being selfish and lazy and ultimately failing at this life. I can't tell you how tired I am sometimes...

     These times, when I'm just so tired; these times when I don't want to go to work tomorrow because I feel like running away from it all and be free; these times are when I remember that my strength may not be sufficient but God's is. It is in these times that I am reminded that when He says that He strengthens us He doesn't just mean for the big task at hand. God gives us the strength to take that first breath in the morning, to get out of bed, to keep going one step at a time. It is in these times that I remember that I desperately need Him if I'm going to even try to live today.

     This man, this flesh and blood that the world sees is so very far past useless. I wonder how many of us realize this? I wonder if I really understand it. As Paul Washer likes to say, “There are no great men of God. There are only small, weak, sinful men of a Great and Holy God.” Time and time again I am confronted with the reality that I just...can't. Can't what? Anything, everything, I just can't. But I do. I get up every day for His compassion is renewed every morning. I don't need persecution or turmoil to break me, life is enough. I don't need tragedy to show me my need for God when I have the mirror staring at me every day!

     A piece of treated canvas can keep you dry, can keep you warm, can provide a place of safety in the storm. That canvas can do a lot but without a few tent-poles to hold it up and keep it in shape you'll find it is far less useful. I don't know if I have answers to my own inner problems, only that I need to pray. I need to read the Word, I need to seek God in the small things as well as in the big things. We were never promised that this life would be easy or that we would understand it. It's not, but I live for the day when it is. Someday the veil that separates us will be more than torn it will be cast aside and God will walk with men again! In that day all of my small struggles and all the tears of my brothers and sisters who have faced so much more will be gone! There will be peace, finally, peace.

“The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all. Amen.”

(Revelation 22:21)