The Three Loves

     It's complicated being human. We are a roiling storm of thoughts, emotions, beliefs, information, and intuition. Being a Christian is even more complex as we take the whole confusing mess and throw spirituality and eternity into it! What can we say about ourselves that has any concrete meaning? How can we understand ourselves in light of our short comings and limitations? How can we describe our ever stumbling quest to do what is right? How about with a quote from Augustine?

“There are two kinds of loves within me. There is the love which loves the good, there is the love which loves the evil, and the best thing I can say about myself is that there is a third kind of a passion that looks at both of them. I have a love that loves the love that loves the good and I have a hate that hates the love that loves the evil.”

(This may be paraphrased as I have been unable to find a direct quotation)

     Do you see what He means? In all of us there is a love, a part of our being, that loves good. We desire to be good people and do good things. We desire to do right before God and to follow His will. We spend hours and days and months and years striving for one step closer to perfection. We praise the good in others and do our best to support them. All of this time and energy spent because there is a part of us that years for righteousness. We are a tainted fallen creation but in our blood is the echo of a memory, a shadow of remembrance of a time now lost when God was here with us and all was as it should be. We love that good memory and the pinpoints of light that we see in this life.

     Yet there is a another passion within us. Beyond our desire for the good and the great is a desire for the evil and the base. A man's desire for his wife is muddied by a wandering lust he cannot seem to control or a woman's desire for beauty is tainted by pride. As much as we love and praise the good in this life we truly desire that which we know is wrong. How much of our culture is focused on sex, greed, murder, revenge, covetousness, and more? We cannot deny that we have a desire, an open want, for the shadows and the dark. We like to think that we are all so civilized but we are lions in a cage and on a leash. The walls of our carefully constructed societies are all that keep us from turning on each other.

     Here then is the only really good thing we can say about ourselves: apart from the two base passions that run within us, there is a third perspective. This third part of ourselves looks at the other two and passes judgment. This third part, this part given -I think- by God, cheers for the love that desires good and rails against the love that desires evil. Paul said something similar:

“I don't understand myself at all, for I really want to do what is right, but I don't do it. Instead, I do the very thing I hate. I know perfectly well that what I am doing is wrong, and my bad conscience shows that I agree that the law is good. But I can't help myself, because it is sin inside me that makes me do these evil things. I know I am rotten through and through so far as my old sinful nature is concerned. No matter which way I turn, I can't make myself do right. I want to, but I can't. When I want to do good, I don't. And when I try not to do wrong, I do it anyway. But if I am doing what I don't want to do, I am not really the one doing it; the sin within me is doing it. It seems to be a fact of life that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. I love God's law with all my heart. But there is another law at work within me that is at war with my mind. This law wins the fight and makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God's law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin.”

(Romans 7:15-25 NLT)

     What then do we do? As always, we pray and seek God in this difficult thing. We nurture that passion that loves good and we do our best to starve the passion that loves evil. We will never be free from temptation and sin while we still walk in this world but we can fight and repent when we make the wrong choice. We must never lose ourselves in our sorrow over sin but use our evils as reminders of the glory of the God so good as to forgive us. We may never be perfect until eternity but we can fight and we can pray and we can try.