To Want to Want What You Ought to Want to Want

     We know that as Christians, there is a lot that is required of us. We know that we are to love God, love others, give generously, be caring, be kind, and on and on and on. There is a long and beautiful list of character traits and behavioral markers that are supposed to accompany the Christian life. Maybe you know one of those great older men and women of God, the ones who you see in church every Sunday and who just seem to ooze godliness? How do those people get that way? Were they just born perfect? Obviously not. We know that no human has ever been born perfect (aside from Christ) but it can be hard to imagine one of these older saints as ever having been like, well, the rest of us.

     I know in my own life I'm burdened by a few things that are hard for me to get past. I did not have many friends growing up and some of the few that I had left me in rather unkind ways. I've developed a very insular personality that tends to exclude others and not rely on people. This extends to the level of not caring much for other people and finding it difficult to care much at all for people who aren't in my immediate circles. I'm sure many of you have similar issues. Maybe you have a rough manner of speech or are overly cynical or perhaps you're naturally lazy; all of these and more are things that we know we should work on, but how do we do that?

     Let's go even farther. We are commanded to love God and love others, right? How does that work? Does God expect us to just summon up some lovin' and spread it around? I've known people who have a hard time loving their family members let alone total strangers! And loving God? Now that's a hard concept! I mean sure, it's easy to be grateful to God or even to fear God, but how do you 'love' someone who is so different than you and is in fact the all powerful creator and sustainer of all existence?

     The answer lies in understanding that God is not just the prescriber of our laws but their fulfillment as well. He not only gives us commands but empowers us to obey those commands. If we know that we are not naturally loving or careful or kind, then we have to ask God for that change. You will find -I promise- that as you pray and seek God in His word and ask for His help, you will notice change in your life! Oddly enough the same goes for loving God. The Bible tells us that we are all naturally “God-haters”, lovers of self, and rebellious. If we want to truly love God and others, we need to ask God for that love that we can then give away. It may seem weird or even insulting to ask God for help in loving Him but how else do we get anything that we need if not by His providence? God wants us to ask for His help in the things He has commanded us to do; He loves to show us that He is who He says He is!

     We can get pretty upset when we don't measure up to the Bible (which, may I remind you, is always.) It can seem self defeating and hopeless, an impossible pursuit. As long as we live it will be difficult and I will be the first to say that there will be hard times, but how could we expect to fulfill His commands on our own when we can't even breathe without God's intervention? Go to God in prayer and ask for Him to give you love for Himself. Ask for a love for others or for a cleaner mouth or a softer heart or a more dedicated spirit. Ask Him for the things that you need for you will find them no where else.

“And whatever we ask we receive from Him, because we keep His commandments and do those things that are pleasing in His sight. And this is His commandment: that we should believe on the name of His Son Jesus Christ and love one another, as He gave us commandment.”

(1 John 3:22-23)

Prayer and the Power to Change

     Whether it's a physical issue, a personality quirk or a continuing sin, everyone has something they don't like about themselves. It can be hard to see a way around these issues, and even more difficult planning our route past them. Sometimes it feels like we're lost on the sea with no direction. How can we become more than what we are? How can we remove or fix something that is an inherent part of ourselves? To be honest we can't, not alone. Humans are fluid, we have the ability to make small changes in the pattern of our behavior, to build new habits and ways of living, but we lack the ability to truly change in a way that matters eternally.

     It surprises me how little we tend to equate personal change with salvation. The most significant change in our lives is that of sinner to son, from enemy of God to friend. Why so many of us (myself included sometimes) simply don't think of going to God for help with other changes is astounding. If nothing else the process of our perfection (known as progressive sanctification) is something we need God to be involved in, actually sorry that's backwards. We need to pray, asking God to make sure WE'RE involved in the process since it is His effort that changes us. We all enter the family of God at different times and in different states. The rest of our time on earth is primarily spent transforming us into the image of Christ. Some of us have longer journeys some of us shorter, some of us easier, some of us harder, but everyone is on that journey and no one is perfect until after we die or Jesus returns in His glory. If you're frustrated by sin and you're not seeking God then that's why you can't defeat it. If you are seeking God and you still feel like you're struggling then keep it up, remember that this is war and sometimes they last a long time; the enemy will not go down easily.

     Moving past sin and the real obvious things. What about things that aren't necessarily sinful but perhaps you just don't like about yourself? God is there as well. When we pray, we are speaking directly to God Himself. God who loves to give gifts to His children and desires for us to be happy (remember though that happiness comes after holiness and they are connected, but that's another post). I for example, know that I can talk to much and be loud and even come across as spastic and immature at times. I really hate that about myself on the occasions when it happens but unfortunately I don't realize how I've been until hours later. I've prayed about it before and I do feel that I'm a more measured person now (somewhat). I know that I have greater peace and I don't worry about things as much as I used to when I was younger. If you don't like your body, prayer can give you the wherewithal to stick to your diet or exercise.  Prayer can inspire you to change habits and even comfort you if you need to leave friends. The point is that God is with us as a father, not only as Lord. You don't have to worry about bothering Him with little things because He is far more aware than we are of the fact that we can't even exist without Him.

     Prayer connects us to God and strengthens our relationship. It is the binding coord that draws us closer and closer each day. How strong would your marriage be if you never spoke to your spouse? How close would your friendships be if you never shared your day? We get our strength for life from our time spent with God. We simply cannot alter our reality without help from the creator of all reality.

The Ghost in My Pocket

     Have you ever stopped to wonder what it means to commune with God? Have you pondered how we can have any meaningful relation with a being so far beyond us? Beyond even that, He already knows everything so how can our relationship progress? Aren't our relationships built on shared experiences and a growing knowledge of each other that is built over time? This is true of our earthly relationships but the way in which we interact with our heavenly Father is, shall we say, a bit different.

“I am praying to you because I know you will answer, O God. Bend down and listen as I pray.”

(Psalms 17:6)

     First off, yes, God does already know everything. This of course includes what we are thinking and feeling and everything we are going to say. The relationship we have with Him grows not by a greater understanding on His part but of one on ours. As we seek the Father in His Word and through prayer it draws us closer to Him. I imagine that God gets much joy in those moments when we see some new and glorious aspect of Him for the first time, or when some biblical truth finally makes sense to us. God's understanding of us is perfect and always has been, but we will never stop learning more about His infinite character; there will always be some new aspect to His personality or some fresh insight into His being to excite us.

“No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and His love has been brought to full expression through us. And God has given us His Spirit as proof that we live in Him and He in us.”

(1 John 4:12-13)

     More interesting still is the fact that unlike our earthly relationships, God is literally within us. The Holy Spirit dwells in the heart of every Christian, strengthening and guiding us along our journey. The Bible tells us that He communicates to the Father on our behalf, communicating better than we can the things we need from Him. God has placed Himself within us which means -among other things- that God experiences our lives right along with us. This is a wondrous thing because it means that God doesn't understand us simply because He is all knowing, but because He feels what we feel! The Holy Spirit acts not as a helper that pokes us along but as a force from within. He accompanies us and lends us strength through every moment of every day. He is there when we wake and when we sleep, when we pray and when we read, when we face challenges and when we accomplish much, He is there when we rejoice and when we cry. Our relationship with Him is guided by Him from without and within making His understanding perfect in all ways.

     Finally, we come to Jesus; God in flesh who not only died for our sins but lived for us as well. Often overlooked is the fact that Christ lived a perfect life on our behalf just as much as He died on our behalf. He lived through a human life -day by day- just like we have to, in order that it may be known that He fully understands. Beyond that His perfect life is accounted to us, exchanging our sinful lives for His perfect one. In God's plan He has made sure that our relationship with Him will have no gaps, no breaches in the wall.

“Therefore, my brethren, you also have become dead to the law through the body of Christ, that you may be married to another; to Him who was raised from the dead, that we should bear fruit to God.”

(Romans 7:4)

     It may seem strange to have a real relationship with someone that we never see or hear or touch, but in truth, our relationship with God is the most real thing we will ever experience. He is with us from birth till death, in every moment and every experience. He's more than an invisible friend or a comforting thought; more than something we bring out to impress our friends or sure up our courage during difficult times. He is not a ghost in our pocket, He is the companion of our soul.

The Three Loves

     It's complicated being human. We are a roiling storm of thoughts, emotions, beliefs, information, and intuition. Being a Christian is even more complex as we take the whole confusing mess and throw spirituality and eternity into it! What can we say about ourselves that has any concrete meaning? How can we understand ourselves in light of our short comings and limitations? How can we describe our ever stumbling quest to do what is right? How about with a quote from Augustine?

“There are two kinds of loves within me. There is the love which loves the good, there is the love which loves the evil, and the best thing I can say about myself is that there is a third kind of a passion that looks at both of them. I have a love that loves the love that loves the good and I have a hate that hates the love that loves the evil.”

(This may be paraphrased as I have been unable to find a direct quotation)

     Do you see what He means? In all of us there is a love, a part of our being, that loves good. We desire to be good people and do good things. We desire to do right before God and to follow His will. We spend hours and days and months and years striving for one step closer to perfection. We praise the good in others and do our best to support them. All of this time and energy spent because there is a part of us that years for righteousness. We are a tainted fallen creation but in our blood is the echo of a memory, a shadow of remembrance of a time now lost when God was here with us and all was as it should be. We love that good memory and the pinpoints of light that we see in this life.

     Yet there is a another passion within us. Beyond our desire for the good and the great is a desire for the evil and the base. A man's desire for his wife is muddied by a wandering lust he cannot seem to control or a woman's desire for beauty is tainted by pride. As much as we love and praise the good in this life we truly desire that which we know is wrong. How much of our culture is focused on sex, greed, murder, revenge, covetousness, and more? We cannot deny that we have a desire, an open want, for the shadows and the dark. We like to think that we are all so civilized but we are lions in a cage and on a leash. The walls of our carefully constructed societies are all that keep us from turning on each other.

     Here then is the only really good thing we can say about ourselves: apart from the two base passions that run within us, there is a third perspective. This third part of ourselves looks at the other two and passes judgment. This third part, this part given -I think- by God, cheers for the love that desires good and rails against the love that desires evil. Paul said something similar:

“I don't understand myself at all, for I really want to do what is right, but I don't do it. Instead, I do the very thing I hate. I know perfectly well that what I am doing is wrong, and my bad conscience shows that I agree that the law is good. But I can't help myself, because it is sin inside me that makes me do these evil things. I know I am rotten through and through so far as my old sinful nature is concerned. No matter which way I turn, I can't make myself do right. I want to, but I can't. When I want to do good, I don't. And when I try not to do wrong, I do it anyway. But if I am doing what I don't want to do, I am not really the one doing it; the sin within me is doing it. It seems to be a fact of life that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. I love God's law with all my heart. But there is another law at work within me that is at war with my mind. This law wins the fight and makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God's law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin.”

(Romans 7:15-25 NLT)

     What then do we do? As always, we pray and seek God in this difficult thing. We nurture that passion that loves good and we do our best to starve the passion that loves evil. We will never be free from temptation and sin while we still walk in this world but we can fight and repent when we make the wrong choice. We must never lose ourselves in our sorrow over sin but use our evils as reminders of the glory of the God so good as to forgive us. We may never be perfect until eternity but we can fight and we can pray and we can try.

Just a Little Something

     I need to apologize, yesterday was kind of a down day.  I wasn't feeling very creative and I also felt just a touch under the weather so I made excuses till the day was gone and I hadn't really written anything.  I don't wan to leave a day blank though so I have an older poem of mine for you all.  Not sure If I've posted it here before, let me know if I did and I'll replace it!  Thanks for reading!

The Puzzle Complete

I think that I was missing something

Though I had much to say

I think I somehow missed the point

With so much in the way

With fear and doubt I closed my eyes

And sank into despair

I sat and cried

And didn't try

To see that you still cared

But now something has changed in me

The darkness starts to fade

The love of God has pulled me from

The hole that I had made

I've spent so long so focused on

The missing, broken parts

That I forgot that you fulfill

The longings of our hearts

So let me walk in daylight, Lord

Let my heart be freed

And let me not forget again,

That you are all I need.

by. Jonathan Schaefer

06/21/06

The Power and Purpose of Prayer

     Why do we pray? Much doubt is being cast on the importance and usefulness of prayer these days, leaving many to wonder why pray at all? It can be a hard thing to pray continually. You'll find that a million different distractions will creep up on you and you may even fall asleep as you kneel on the floor with your eyes closed tight. So why do it? Why fight against the current of popular opinion? Because to do so and reject prayer would be disastrous to our spiritual lives.

     I've heard it said that praying is pointless because God already knows everything anyway and He already has His plan and since God already knows everything about us we can't build that relationship. Of course this is all true but it's missing a crucial point. We are commanded to pray and God has told us that prayer is effective.

“Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.”

(James 5:16)

Furthermore, God does know us perfectly already but we barely know Him! The relationship we are building is not based on mutual lack of understanding but on the fact that we are woefully ignorant of our creator. Prayer is not merely time spent mumbling in the dark but time spent conversing with our heavenly Father. We're talking to Dad. 

     Similarly we don't have to keep our prayers constantly wordy and fancy, we don't have to use flowing speech and grandiose words. We can simply seek Him and talk to Him, tell Him about your day and what is bothering you. He is listening. Especially helpful is the knowledge that we don't need to perfectly articulate what we need for two reasons: God does already know our needs, and the Holy Spirit speaks on our behalf.

“Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.”

(Romans 8:26)

     As you pray, as you make it a habit of your life, you will see it's benefits. Prayer not only works in this world -though we may not see or understand how- it draws us closer to God and to each other. We need to keep God in our thoughts, keeping a “constant state of prayer”, carrying Him with us always and going to Him specifically whenever we can. Prayer defines a Christian in a way, unlike other religions of the world we are not simply repeating verses or chanting lines or paying homage, we are talking directly to God. After all, this faith we have is more than simply a duty or responsibility or a requirement, it is a relationship with our creator and savior. So don't give up on prayer, don't let it slip aside because you don't have time or don't know what to say. God is waiting to hear from you, don't make Him wait too long.