To Marry or to Stand Alone

     Well, tomorrow is the big day, Valentines Day! A day of love and romance and other gooshy, lovey-dovey topics. You might expect another post about relationships and marriage and whatnot but no sir! Today we are going to discuss darn near the exact opposite, singleness. I know, I know, kind of a weird topic given the time of year but I think its rather appropriate, so lets go!

     Marriage is such an oft discussed topic that I think it overshadows singleness, and that's understandable. Marriage is the picture used to describe the relationship between Christ and the church. A proper respect of our marriages is vital to our lives and one of the backbones of the church. That being said, I think we get so focused on the importance of marriage that we think that everyone should be married and that singleness is a lesser state.

But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord; how he may please the Lord. But he who is married cares about the things of the world; how he may please his wife.

(1 Corinthians 7:32-33)

But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am;

(1 Corinthians 7:8)

     Paul points out that although marriage is a good thing, it adds to you a whole host of concerns that you did not have before. A single man (or women) is free to live wholly for God, but the married must give of themselves to their spouse as well as to God. This is the critical factor, we have done so much to promote proper marriage that we have neglected to encourage people to see if God would have us get married at all! Not everyone wants to get married, and not everyone is “supposed” to get married.

     Those who remain single have the opportunity to use their time and their efforts more freely for the kingdom. Think about how much you could do without a spouse to care for, provide for, and protect; how much work could you do for the kingdom if you didn't have to raise your children? Now I am not by any means belittling marriage and family here. They are wonderful things and encouraged by God but our message seems to be all marriage all the time and that those not married should be preparing for marriage. We should be teaching our young men and women (and the old ones as well, frankly) to almost ignore marriage specifically and learn to live for God! If God has planned for you to marry than He will make it happen and you will be all the better prepared for it if you are focused on Him! We are God's first and our spouse's second, that has to be at the heart of marriage and our singleness.

     So don't feel bad this year if you don't have an “S.O.” to cuddle. God has a plan for you and that may include marriage and it may not. In either case you will most fulfilled when trust yourself to Him first. Remember to use the time and freedom you have as a single person to do what you can for God and His kingdom. Who knows, out in the mission field may just be where you find him/her anyway.