The Blessing of Guilt and Shame

     We have something built into the world to help discourage us from evil and encourage us to righteousness. It works both internally and externally, personally and socially. We feel it in our hearts when we take actions and we experience from others when those actions become known. We may try and minimize it or even vilify it but I see this system as a blessing not a curse. I'm talking about guilt, shame, and regret.

     These three “feelings”, for lack of a better word, go a long way in guiding our behavior. They are in essence, part of our conscience. When we do something wrong we grieve our conscience and feel guilt, when others hear of our wrong doing we feel ashamed and as we remember past mistakes we feel regret. Like our sense of taste which helps us to know which foods are good and which are bad by how pleasant or unpleasant they are to our tongue, guilt and shame serve as the negative responses to bad things that are unhealthy for us; regret in this analogy is the aftertaste, the bitter remnant that remind us of our mistakes.

     When properly understood and used these emotions, these reactions can serve to align us with proper living. What makes us guilty or ashamed is most likely something to be avoided, and thinking ahead can help us decide against things that we will regret doing. This is all paired, of course, with the positive responses: joy, pride (the healthy kind), and praise. Together they enforce the good and discourage the bad, so long as we use them properly.

     That being said, look at what the modern era thinks of guilt and shame. How often are we told that we needn't feel guilty about our choices? How rarely is anyone ashamed of their choices and how much time is really spent on regret? This culture views guilt and shame as societal programming left over from a more closed-minded time. What you're doing isn't wrong they say, it was just looked down up on in the dark ages of fifty years ago. Whatever you like and whatever you want to do, do proudly and openly! Feel no shame in what and who you are, throw all of who you are into the public square (personally and physically) and don't spare a second thought about what's “proper.” Isn't that what we hear?

     How can we expect to know what choices are wrong when we silence the voice that would warn us? How are we supposed to know to avoid the behaviors that damage us when everything is accepted and nothing is decried? Many of us have so ignore and seared our consciences that we don't even feel the twinge of guilt or hear the whisper of restraint. Mankind no longer feels the chains of sin because we've convinced ourselves that it was “righteousness” that held us prisoner.

     Listen to your guilt, listen to your shame, let yourself feel regret. Ask God to resuscitate your conscience and give it life anew. Your guilt will remind you of your sinful nature and keep pride from devouring you, shame will keep your public behavior proper and help you shape your private self, and regret will never let you forget that the God who saved you had every right to condemn you. These three are important, don't let them die in you.