The Real Me

     How do you know who you are? It seems like a lot of time, money, and energy is spent these days on finding that answer. We seem to think that if we can experience just a few more things or learn a few more things or do a few more things, than we can find that missing piece in the puzzle that is ourselves. I think however, that all this effort is the problem -at least a part of it- and not the solution.

     I have heard quite a few stories of people who have left behind responsibilities or family in order to “find themselves” or “follow their dream.” These people often go to far flung locations on the globe helping others, or seeing whats out there and often leave important things behind. Every one of them is certain that they will come to some revelation about themselves while they are out there. Sadly, the journey tells us more about them than any eureka moment they may have. The only thing you are proving by leaving it all behind is that you are selfish enough to ditch your responsibilities and even abandon those who rely on you. The simple truth of life is that we are often restricted in doing what we want by what we must. It is our willingness to hunker down and simply work that speaks of character.

     

     There is also the often heard excuse that if only all these “things” weren't happening to me, I could be who I really am. The idea being that I am prevented from being the person I would really like to be because I am forced into being the person I must be. This is often said defensively, justifying present actions by insisting that underneath it all is the “real” you. As before, the “real” you is the you that you are right now! You are the one who chose your present course of action, you are the one who acts in a certain way in a given circumstance. Who you are is more about the quality of your character than your social status. How much money you make, or how glamorous your job, or how fancy your lifestyle only speaks of what you do with what you have; more important is how you got there or how you are without all that pomp.

     Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you shouldn't follow your dreams or be willing to make drastic changes to achieve them. What I'm saying is that if you are the good person you want to be than you will do what's right and not always what makes you happy or even fulfilled. The real you is not some nebulous concept that we must each discover in some arduous search, we are who we choose to be every minute of every day. That man who works two or more jobs to support his family when he'd rather be something else is no less honorable for not living out his fanciful desires. He knows his responsibilities and where his efforts must be focused. That man doesn't have to give up on himself to be honorable, he can pursue his dreams but at a perhaps slower pace. The would be writer, the wanna-be actor, the home chef, or the night school student with a full time job; they all honor their commitments and follow their dreams.

     We should never let our dreams destroy our reality, our maybe tomorrows to bring harm to our todays. Dreams are great but we cannot live in them, we cannot make our home in the clouds. In a world so obsessed with dreams and hopes and big futures we so often look down on the here and now. These day to days are not obstacles in our way but the building stones of our lives. If you cast aside your foundation, how high do you think you can build?