Not much of a post today I'm afraid.
I'm a young writer and by that I mean
that I am neither particularly advanced in age nor am I extensively
experienced as a crafter of sentences and paragraphs. I'm still
trying to find my voice, my particular take on things. Right now I'm
really trying to fall in love again with creating. Lately I've
remember how much I drew when I was younger and yet I hardly ever
draw now. I used to write poems all the time and when I was in
elementary school I would write these odd stories for class and at
home. Now that I'm an adult though, I can't help but feel the press
of responsibility on my shoulders and I just don't feel the love
anymore.
I've lost that inexorable force that
compels me to pick up my pencil and just doodle. I have so many
ideas in my head for stories and books and such but sitting down to
write them scares me more than excites me more often than not. I
need to reevaluate my perspective and I need to remember the point of
it all. I love writing this blog, I do, but there needs to be more
within me that writes for me.
When I started the blog up again I
tried to post five days a week and that was killing me. Now that I'm
posting three times a week I feel that I am capable of producing that
much content but the schedule is effecting the quality of the blog
itself. I plan on dropping down to twice a week for now and perhaps
when my job situation becomes more stable and I have more time I'll
post more often.
Really I'm just concerned about
putting out good posts rather than simply getting a post out. Beyond
that I need to readjust my own mind find a bit more of me as a
writer. I feel like, if I don't do this, I'll kill this for me. To
that end I'll be taking a week off to do some other writing and more
importantly thinking and working towards a better system and better
perspective. I'll be finishing off this week so I'll have a new post
on Friday. Thank you all for your readership and understanding.
See you on the other side.
-Jonathan
_Jonathan, I get you. I am struggling though these same feelings and this is my thirtieth year! This is supposed to be the year I start my public ministry, like Jesus; instead, I just re-started by blog, and am being forced to search for full-time work. "Does anyone really need what you have to say?" I hear in my mind and it seems 'no' is the only answer.
ReplyDelete_But I've chosen to keep using my mind for the arts because, like English, I'm confident in my fluency and it's evident thanks to the honesty of patient people. That bothers me here. It seems you've written many posts but there aren't many honest responses. I think part of what stirs that "inexorable force" to create is people telling you how your work makes them feel. Maybe you have people like that in your personal life but, I have too few.
_So, allow me to follow your musings, thoughts, and contemplations a bit more and encourage you on your journey to fulfilling purpose. You can call me J.H. but, next time I comment I'll have a pen name link to my blog, that is, if I've the courage to share it. Ah, pray for me!
Thank You! I've found it can be hard to keep going when you don't seem to have anyone reading but ultimately it's all for God right? I will be back from my little break soon, just ended up being longer than I planned!
DeleteI am extremely impressed along with your writing abilities, Thanks for this great share.
ReplyDelete